Ever since I was back in Malaysia actually. And now I'm back to Aus, hoping for a better future. Which is exactly the time that I have more thoughts.
During the two and a half month back in Malaysia, what happened?! To me, there's seriously just two things that happen, grandpa fell sick out of no reason, and then grandma got stroke. Well, of course I had other things going on life a spontaneous trip with dad to Krabi, short trip with le bf and xiu bao to penang, and of course Chinese New Year celebration with family and friends. But I missed out on travelling around Malaysia, especially Johor and Langkawi. All these got brushed off due to my responsibility of being a granddaughter.
So grandpa was so weak the first two weeks I was back, then grandma got stroke, sent to ICU, stayed for 2 weeks, got transferred to normal ward and stay for further 2 weeks. Grandpa somehow amazingly recovered, perhaps due to better nutrition intake. Grandma has always been a relatively negative person as far as I know. Thus, I have been at her side almost every single day since she got hospitalised. As much as I care and love her, it got really tiring at times. It would be better if it's normal sickness. But whole left side of her body can't respond, can't move. She can't sit up, she can't flip body, can't get down of bed. We have to flip her when she doesn't feel comfortable sleeping with her sleeping posture. And also because to avoid her skin got damped and thus initiate rotting. She sleeps alot in hospital, which is not a very good thing as she's not moving at all most of the time. We would exercise and massage her hand and leg. After she got dehospitalised, she's sleeping lesser but she's even more emotional, often crying for very minor incidents.
Because of stroke attack, her mind got affected as well. She's way more emotional, way more negative, way more sensitive. Apart of taking care of her body, we have to cheer her up mentally too, show her more love so that she thinks positively and hopefully help her in recovering process.At least now she's back home, safe and sound. Now that I'm back to Aus, I can't do much. But I wish she understand my hope for her, to cheer up and trust in herself to recover.
My grandparents wearing new tops I got for them for Chinese New Year. Ahh we're so matching in red!
Life back here is always exciting, not totally in a happy way, but I guess that's how life is. There's always the great and enjoyable part yet there'll always be something of uncertain nature that create a negative part. Really really glad that le bf is staying in the same city as me now. Now that he's here, we could meet as often as we wish. I've almost forgotten how great is the feeling that I know for sure he could be physically by my side whenever I need him. And also great time spent with housemates. Gosh after two and a half months! It still feel so awesome spending time doing random things or having some facing-reality chat with the girls. I'm feeling so lucky and grateful now, just with these three important person with me here, to face my challenges. One of the biggest challenges, job hunting. All I can do is just to continue to search and search until a company appreciates what I could offer. Some people say its timing, some people say it's luck. No matter what it is, I hope it's coming soon.
Dear God, please pull me through it.
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