Coming home

Finally my future is starting to reveal abit more. So I am gonna embark on my first full-time job at KL in March. Next on will be quittng my currrent part time jobs here, packing my 4 years worth of luggages, and settling accommodation in KL.

It drives me a little nervous how it will be like working in such a huge company. I've always have this mindset that it is really hard to get in this particular company, couldn't believe that I'm entering it very soon! Wonder how the company's culture will be like. I hope it will be an enjoyable and fulfilling career there.

Today when I was buying some baking ingredients at Woolworths, an aunty came to me asking if I speak Mandarin and if I could help her out. She was pushing a baby pram (her grandson) and looking at the pans and woks. And she said, her daughter only has a pan in her house that it is so inconvenient to cook dishes and even to cook some noodle for the kid. But the daughter didn't seemed to bother to buy more pans or woks just to save money. As she was telling me all these, one could just sense how much she loves her daughter. She ended up buying a wok and a mini pot for her daughter.

Stumbled across these images below from facebook today and it reminded me of the reality. Even though we already know all these, but it's good to be reminded once in awhile, as we could be carried away by our life too.

你在家时，父母是一种生活；你不在家时，父母又是另外一种生活。世界再大，回家再难，过节也不要忘记回去看看家里开始年迈的父母

what makes you afraid?

At least now I know what I'm really afraid of.
I'm afraid of losing people.
Not ordinary friend.
A best friend.
A soulmate.
A person I hold so closely to my heart.

I do not know that if I work hard enough, it will be fine.
I do not know how far could I go down this route.
I do not know how much I could sacrifice.

I'm scared.
I'm devastated by the possibility of losing you.
I'm weakened by the existent of this possibility.

Wake me up when September ends

September ended, infact it's already mid october. Fourth year here in Australia, second year in Melbourne. Definitely not a short period of time, but has it been long enough?

Since 2 years ago, I have been facing the the options of my life, unfortunately it is a choice not entirely on my hand. There are other factors to take into consideration, factors that are realistic and consuming me. I am bad at this, very bad at making decision that affects others, even by remote.

For sure that I have learnt alot and I'm happy with my exposure. But I know deep in my heart that I haven't got the best I could. I didn't give it all to experience everything. I held back too much in the past, but I've grown out of it. I've finally started my dreams in baking and coffee to actions. It is pretty late that I just got started few months ago. But my passion has doubled, if not tripled since then. I am madly in love with what I am doing right now.

A call from family about household situation always stir up my emotions. The fact that I need to be more independent, take up more responsibility and being the eldest in this family don't help at all. It makes me worry about my family. It confuses my rational mind. It forces my heart to weigh family factors heavily  in each of my actions, especially this one, one that determine my future.

Looks like I'm heading home, soon, very soon indeed.

I need to make full use of my time from now on. With all I can, with all my time and energy.

farewell

People come and go, both in terms of friendship and physical distance.

Ever since graduation of secondary school back in Malaysia, I have experienced countless times of separation. Till now, I couldn't bare not to feel emotional on it. 

I could still remember vividly when I decided to pursue my pre-university studies in KL, and my best friend (shay phing) is gonna stay back for Form 6, I was so emotionally affected by the thought of not able to see her. We had been seeing each other almost everyday in school and tuition, tell me how not to be sad over that kind of friendship! We had a hang out for my belated birthday and farewell, and both of us couldn't contain ourselves and cried out at the restaurant. Well it was really hard for us to be apart!

After that I have learnt to understand that's life as we have our different destiny. And also thanks for the convenience of internet nowadays to help all of us stay connected despite the distance. Recently, I have came to an acknowledgement that in my situation, I couldn't fully blend myself in Australian's group. By that I mean not being able to grow further into a very close friendship, but I am happy to social and mix around with them. It's just the interests and activities that I couldn't see myself indulge in. 

However, I have recently met someone, that touched my heart. She cares for me like no one else (locals)  I've met, smile to me genuinely and welcome me so much. I would see her 3 days a week as she work next door. But she left. I am so used to look over next door to say hi, but I know she's not there anymore. I did some butter cookies for her on the last day, to thank her, for being such a great person. Sigh I miss her.

The reason that I started this post, is a good friend that I met during my university years came back for graduation, and now is leaving, again. But this time is for good. We had so much moments together, good and bad that strengthened our friendship. Since I moved to Melbourne, I went back to Adelaide a few times and he came over for travel as well. But after this time, there will be no such travel moments anymore. The next time we meet, will probably be back in Malaysia, and the date is unknown. I wish him all the best with his undertakings and hopefully we will meet again very soon.

I hate this part right here....

Birthday in September

Officially a year older now, and wiser I hope heh... It actually don't hit on me much, everyone grows older anyway. 

I was given the freedom to choose my birthday gift from bf although he wanted to get me a Pandora. I have been thinking of other choices but eventually I couldn't come out with a thing that both of us agreed on. So we went in Pandora to check out a day before my birthday. And surprise surprise we got a Pandora bracelet and charms on the spot, and a sparkling love shaped charm from Elaine! I wasn't prepared to get it on the spot but somehow it happened. Grateful for the gorgeous gift.

On the actual date, there was a special "One day Shopping Sales" at Melbourne Central. How lucky eh?  So we have to be at the mall early.. And..And... that's when I got my flowers delivered to my doorstep by bf <3 a="" enough="" inside="" is="" joke="" lololol="" love="" major="" once="" p="" year="">

To make it more fun, we joined the competition held in accordance of the event, which explains spamming pictures on our Instagrams lol...  Unfortunately non of us won it but we had so much fun running around the mall for treasure hunt! I have never joined any such competition in a mall, a very special memory indeed. This was actually the second competition, there were a limit number of participants for the first game which we didn't get to join and changed the plan to breakfast at Pancake Parlour. 

After the game we went for shopping spree! So many offers at all the shops! Some are really cheap and worthy. Most of the stores have 20-30% off. It was then that I bought a pair of sneakers from Vans. Oh I don't shop for sneakers, really. But I have been wanting one pair to be on my shoe rack, ya' know, sometimes to change a little! Here's a picture of us in a slightly different style, trying on the caps in Vans store.

We shopped from the morning till evening @.@ Due to some delay at the queue to get in fitting room I would say, not sure if it even qualifies as an excuse lol But we got so tired of walking by the end of the day. Good thing that I stay so near by don't need to walk a far distant to get back to home. It was a full on fun filled and adventurous birthday.

We ended our day by going for a steak restaurant called City Grill Room. I am having this major major love for steak especially this year! And this is by far the best, most tender, right to the degree kind of steak! I am so gonna go back if I have the chance! I love my rib-eye on bone so much!

Rib-eye

Scotch

Now I have to backdate to about 5 days before. I had an advanced mini cupcake surprise session at home. Main reason being bf's brother was here travelling and another housemate of mine is travelling back home town  during my birthday. I am contented having them to share the joy with me.

On a side note, I miss my friends back home that would always celebrate it with me as well! Grateful that even all of us are thousand miles apart, you guys still put in effort to send your wishes accross! At the bright side, my relatives are coming over for a week in November! 2 more months :)

Falls Creek Snow Ski

I can now say that I have seen, play and walk in snow after 3 years plus in Australia! Well, main reason being most of the areas in Australia don't snow in winter. The temperature is simply not cold enough for the snow to visit. Therefore we have to go up the mountains such as Mount Buller, Hotham and Falls Creek for the snow experience. It was such a fun and adventurous 3 days trip I would say. We picked Falls Creek as it is most probably not as crowded as Mount Buller, and as for Hotham somehow we just didn't thought of going there. 

It normally takes about 6-7hours ride from Melbourne city to Falls Creek. Unfortunately, it took us way longer than that! We were stuck just before we reach Falls Creek due to rock slide and VicRoad decided that it is too dangerous and it is gonna take a whole night to clear the road. We were so shocked and worried at that point, it was our first snow trip ya see... So we had two choices, to return to Melbourne city; or to take the chance and stay overnight at the small town we were at, which is called Bright and hoping that the road will be cleared by tomorrow morning. But that means we will be having 2 days 1 night instead of 3 days 2 nights at Falls Creek. Anyhow we decided to wait till the next morning and I am grateful that we made that decision as the road was cleared by the next morning as promised by VicRoad.

I was so ecstatic seeing the snowy scenery, so white so picturesque! None of us has snow walking boots thus we were walking so carefully as it is quite slippery walking on the snow, way more slippery than we thought, not to mention dragging our luggages along to the accommodation. To avoid this, there is a transfer service that costs $20 per person per trip but our accommodation is nearby so we didn't want to pay for that.

We stayed at Elk at Falls and it is a really lovely apartment. It is a 2 bedrooms apartment with fully furnished kitchenette. And that is why we brought food over to have steamboat in the chilly night. A major plus point is the view from the balcony,  so so so gorgeous I can't describe! Gasps! It's all snowy white, it's like a painting!

Our first group picture at snow mountain :D We were on our way to pick up our ski gears. The ski clothing are all waterproof, which is very important not only to protect against the wind/rain but is extremely helpful if you happen to fall down while skiing/ snowboarding or else you will be all wet. The ski boots and boards are not only picked best to your size, but also calibrated for accuracy. The ski gears are pretty heavy to carry. And the bulky ski boots are also quite stiff and tight, which is good to maintain your ankle position to avoid injuries but could be uncomfortable for first time wearer.

It works in such a way that we take chair lifts up the top and ski down, there are various slopes, in terms of steepness, distance and difficulty.  All lifts were opened on that day but given our limited time on that day for us to learn to ski and actually started skiing on our own, we only bought the ticket with least lifts. We had about 2 hours beginner lesson to learn to handle the ski boards. 

The lifts are not even like a cable car, it's basically just steel chair with handle!! And we had to carry the ski gears with our hands all the way up as we didn't even know how to fit it up with our ski boots at that point of time. I was trying to hold my ski gears tightly fearing if I accidentally let loose it will fell off, the long ride was not doing any good! Feeling the weight of ski gears and the never ending distance, the only thing that made it better was the breathtaking scenery, really. Why can't they have proper cable car so that we can rest the gears and enjoy the scenery?!

Also, snowman is not limited to movies anymore! There I seen it with my own eyes and even built one myself! Proud moment.. Don't laugh at how excited I was and still am, 'cause it was my first snowman ever in my life ok! As we were returning to the city the next day evening, we just rented the ski gears for a day. We decided to just walked around the village, just relax and have some fun. For me, it means snapping pictures all the way hehehe

I miss the scenery so much, so much more that I never thought of. It was simply unforgettable! Eventhough the trip didn't go according to plan at the start but I'm glad that we made the right choice and made it to Falls Creek in the end. It is definitely an adventurous one. Everything that was so perfect on Falls Creek redeem it all! One thing that made it not-so-perfect was that it didn't actually snow on that 2 days. Oh well, life is not always perfect isn't it? There's always possibility in life right? :)